Ever feel like you’re doing everything right, but your child just isn't responding the way you expected? Maybe you’re exhausted from "spirited" meltdowns, or perhaps you're worried because your little one is simply… stubborn.
Before you label your child as "difficult," take a deep breath. It’s likely not "you"—it’s their temperament.
What is Child Temperament?
Think of temperament as your child’s "factory settings." It is their innate biological blueprint—the way they process the world. This framework was pioneered by renowned child psychologists Alexander Thomas and Stella Chess, who identified that every child is born with unique characteristics. Understanding these traits is the key to "Goodness of Fit," a concept where you adjust your parenting style to align with your child’s nature, rather than forcing them to change.
The 9 Traits: Temperament Observation Guide
Use this guide to identify where your child falls on the spectrum of each trait.
The "Stubborn" Child: A Hidden Superpower
In the Thomas and Chess model, this is "High Persistence." Please remember: A child who is persistent enough to fight you on bedtime today is a child who will be persistent enough to pursue their goals tomorrow.
How to handle High Persistence:
- Give Choices: Instead of demanding, offer options. "Do you want to brush your teeth before or after we put on your pajamas?"
- Validate, Don't Suppress: Acknowledge their will. "I can see you really want to finish this tower. Let's find a way to save it so we can come back to it after dinner."
When you work with their persistence rather than against it, you turn a "stubborn" trait into their greatest asset.
Curious to see your child's temperament in action? Parenting is a journey of discovery. Why not take a moment this week to observe your child’s reactions during a daily routine? Try to identify which of the 9 traits they display most often. Understanding these small nuances is the first step toward building a deeper, more harmonious connection.
Does your child lean toward "high persistence" or are they more adaptable? We’d love to hear your thoughts!
Let's Stay Connected!
We love hearing from our community of parents. Whether you have questions about your child's temperament or need recommendations for products that support their unique needs, we are here to help.
- Explore our shop: My Baby Deserves The Best
- Need support? Email us at: babydeservesthebest@gmail.com
We look forward to hearing your story and supporting you on your parenting journey!